Ever looked around and thought, “Why does everyone else have their life together except me?”
You’re not alone. It’s easy to feel like others are effortlessly succeeding while you’re just struggling to keep up. But there’s a psychological reason for this feeling, and for people with ADHD, it can hit even harder.
It’s called Relative Deprivation Theory—the idea that we feel frustrated, resentful, or dissatisfied when we perceive that others have more success, resources, or opportunities than we do.
But here’s the good news: you can break free from this comparison trap and start recognizing your real progress. In this post, I’ll show you how.
Why Does It Feel Like Everyone Else Is Succeeding?
ADHD makes this feeling even more intense. We already struggle with executive function, motivation, and emotional regulation—so when we see others achieving things we want, our brains go into overdrive:
“Why can’t I do that?”
“I should be further along.”
“I’m never going to catch up.”
Sound familiar?
Social media makes it worse. You scroll through LinkedIn and—bam—someone from high school just became a CEOwhile you’re still trying to get through your to-do list. Suddenly, all your progress feels like nothing, even though you’ve been working hard.
Common ADHD Triggers for the Comparison Trap
ADHD can amplify feelings of relative deprivation in specific ways:
✔ Time Blindness – You feel like you’re always running out of time to reach your goals.
✔ Rejection Sensitivity – Seeing others succeed can feel like proof that you’re failing.
✔ Executive Dysfunction – You know what you want, but getting there feels like an uphill battle.
✔ Hyperfocus on the Wrong Comparison – You ignore your own wins and only notice what others have.
So, how do we break out of this cycle?
4 Steps to Stop Feeling Behind & Start Recognizing Your Progress
1. Shift Your Focus: Compare Yourself to YOUR Past Self
Instead of comparing yourself to others, look at how far you have come.
Ask yourself:
Where was I a year ago? Two years ago?
What have I learned?
How have I grown, even in small ways?
🔹 Try this: Write down three things you’ve improved in over the last six months—no matter how small. It could be:
✔ "I manage my mornings better now."
✔ "I finally set boundaries with a toxic friend."
✔ "I started working on my creative project again."
Progress is progress—no matter how small.
2. Reframe the Narrative: Use Others’ Success as Inspiration, Not Self-Criticism
When you see someone succeed, instead of thinking:
❌ “They have something I don’t.”
Try thinking:
✅ “Their success shows me what’s possible.”
For example, if a friend launches a business, instead of feeling bad, ask:
👉 What small step can I take today toward my goals?
This mindset shift makes a huge difference.
3. Limit Social Media Triggers
Be honest with yourself. Does scrolling social media lift you up, or does it make you feel like you’re never doing enough?
✔ Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison.
✔ Follow accounts that inspire, educate, and uplift you.
✔ Set time limits for social media to avoid the endless scroll.
Sometimes, taking a break from social media can do wonders for your mental health.
4. Break Big Goals into Small, Achievable Steps
One of the biggest ADHD traps is setting huge, overwhelming goals—and then feeling crushed when they don’t happen overnight.
🚀 Instead of: “I want to write a book.”
✅ Try: “I’ll write for 10 minutes today.”
✔ Small wins = dopamine.
✔ Dopamine = motivation.
✔ Motivation = progress.
I say this all the time because it’s essential for ADHD brains!
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Behind—You’re On Your Own Path
The truth is: You are NOT behind. Your journey looks different, and that’s okay. The more you focus on your own progress, the more you’ll realize you’re exactly where you need to be.
Now, I Want to Hear from You!
💬 Drop a comment:
Does this resonate with you?
What’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for today? (Even if it’s something small—let’s celebrate wins together!)
📢 Like & Share: If this helped you, share it with someone who needs to hear this!
🔔 Follow for More: I’m Karen McGee, an RTT Hypnotherapist specializing in ADHD. Subscribe for more tips on ADHD, mindset shifts, and self-growth.
🚀 You’re not behind. You’re on YOUR path.
